In the therapy process, patient and counselor broach the subject of the end of treatment a few sessions before the last session. I'm finding that this approach works well for real life, too. I don't know what it says about me that it's taken me this long; at 28, I've moved over a dozen time in my lifetime. You'd think I'd be an expert at "goodbyes" by now.
A month ago at the Machon, I attended my last staff meeting. I always liked the staff meetings because, between the spoken Hebrew and the ISL, I could understand most of what was being said. This meeting, though, they opened with a goodbye: mine. The director of the Machon, Yael, briefly went through the work I've done with them for the past two years and said a formal "thank you". Then they gave me a 3D book of sights of Israel, which is
awesome except for the page with the tank which is kind of frightening cause the barrel of the tank comes out really far and you kind of feel like it's going to take your eye out.
The nice thing about this goodbye, though, was that it wasn't really a goodbye. I was still in Israel for the better part of a month, and still coming into the Machon regularly. But it started the process and got me really thinking about leaving, and what that means: how do I maintain ties with people, what more do I need to get out of my time here, what have I already gotten out of it.
I got my haircut for the last time at the
French barber shop. I chatted with my barber and told him I was leaving. He made me promise to come get my haircut there when I come back to visit. I visited with my friend Dvora, a CODA and author, and she said she was really going to miss me when I went back. It was hard to even begin the process of leaving.
And here I am in my last week. The goodbyes are continuing, some harder than others. I have to say that I'm glad I started the process so long ago; it makes the insanity of the last week that much easier, both practically and emotionally. Not to say that I'm leaving scot free; there has been plenty of angst and heartache as I say my final
להתראותs to people. Not "goodbye", just "see you later".
I owe Dvora a lot for, among other things, starting me early on the "goodbyes". The sadness of leaving and the excitement of returning to the US are almost more than I can stand as it is now. But that's just the way things are. Sometimes life is just sa
d כך, and we muddle through it best we can.